black and white rose in a technicolor world (theriotgirl) wrote,
black and white rose in a technicolor world

  • Music:

how does it feel, how does it feel, cause it's tearing me apart

I hate how I'm still so upset over this that I'm not eating as much or as well as I should. I hate that you probably don't even care because I'm being "stupid". I hate how you'll read over this and ignore it. I hate that I'm fading away into a world that you don't care about anymore. I hate that you won't even miss me while I'm gone.


London's in less than a month now, and my stomach's all tied in knots. Remember in the beginning when I couldn't wait to go? Now I'm so nervous that I can't stand it. All of this preparation, all of this paperwork... just let me GO already. I need to meet some hot English boys, let them sweep me off my feet, and have that three month long summer romance that I never got to have. Then again, who actually has a summer romance, anyway? No one I know. That sort of thing only happens in the movies. Am I just being jealous of something that doesn't happen?

I think I used to be funny. I'm not sure how it happened, but I really don't think I am anymore. Maybe I'm just trying too hard.

I'm coming home for Christmas on the 22nd. It doesn't look like I'll be staying with my cousin again like I did for Thanksgiving because as it turns out, my Aunt and Steve have to be out of their house before Christmas (They're selling it. Did I tell you? BOO!). As of right now, we'll probably end up staying with Joyce at her place in Bellmore. Even though I find Joyce a tad... insufferable, at least it's closer to all of my L-Town MacArthur crew. No more late night hour long drives home for me! No more spotty cell phone service! For that week that I'm home, it'll be gold.

Sigh. 21 days until I expire.

Wow. That was choppy.
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